Well, despite the red monster i went to the gym today. Bust when i got home i ate 2 cups of cut up cucumber with 50 calories of dressing. Then the red monster made me crave pop corn. So i thought i could treat myself to a snack bag of calorie wise lime popcorn. Only 100 calories. Or so i thought... i looked at the box after and found out it was actually 190 calories. While waiting for the kettle to boil for my hot water bottle i ended up making 2 pieces of toast with margerin and miso.
I cant have eaten more then 234 calories more then ive burned today.
Hopefully the number on the scale will go down again tomorrow!
Ana love to all <3
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
june 8th
Well, yesterday was great. When i got home from the gym i only had. 1 cup of cucumber cut up into 1/2 cm 1/4th slices with 1 table spoon of dressing (40 calories) and mom made me eat a piece of ham lunch meat before i went back to the gym. But i dont think it would be more then 100 calories (which i already subtracted from my total calories burned yesterday)
Yesterday i burned...
*drumroll*
881 more calories then i ate!
Just before I was about to go to bed last night, i noticed i was bleeding. I'm still planning to go to the gym atleast once today and if I dont go then I'm keeping it an all liquids day.
But, even MORE good news!
As soon as i woke up this morning i got in the bath tub to soak my aching stomach, forgetting to get on the scale first. After i got out i got on the scale, and even with my wet hair i weighed ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY ONE POUNDS!
Yesterday i weighed 175.
Thank you Ana!
Yesterday i burned...
*drumroll*
881 more calories then i ate!
Just before I was about to go to bed last night, i noticed i was bleeding. I'm still planning to go to the gym atleast once today and if I dont go then I'm keeping it an all liquids day.
But, even MORE good news!
As soon as i woke up this morning i got in the bath tub to soak my aching stomach, forgetting to get on the scale first. After i got out i got on the scale, and even with my wet hair i weighed ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY ONE POUNDS!
Yesterday i weighed 175.
Thank you Ana!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Chloe Lattanzi (thinspo)
I don't know about anybody else, but I absolutely LOVE Chloe Lattanzi.
She's the daughter of Olivia Newton-John, I think shes like, 22? In interview with a magazine she said; "I've gone through an eating disorder. I don't hide that. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm taking very good care of myself now, but I'm not going to be line 'Oh, I eat pizza every day!' and I'm honest about that"
MY HERO.
Definitely my hero. She's so brave and confidant with her body, even though most people must think shes a horrible person for being so alright with her anorexia. I'm not sure if she is still anorexic but I got some recent photos off her myspace and she looks as thin and beautiful as ever.
I'm starting to make personal thinspo videos for my ipod when I'm working out. If I decide to put them on youtube I will most certainly put up the links.
My favorite Chloe thinspo pictures :D
She's the daughter of Olivia Newton-John, I think shes like, 22? In interview with a magazine she said; "I've gone through an eating disorder. I don't hide that. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm taking very good care of myself now, but I'm not going to be line 'Oh, I eat pizza every day!' and I'm honest about that"
MY HERO.
Definitely my hero. She's so brave and confidant with her body, even though most people must think shes a horrible person for being so alright with her anorexia. I'm not sure if she is still anorexic but I got some recent photos off her myspace and she looks as thin and beautiful as ever.
I'm starting to make personal thinspo videos for my ipod when I'm working out. If I decide to put them on youtube I will most certainly put up the links.
My favorite Chloe thinspo pictures :D
June 7th
I dont really remember what happened last night, or what I ate (but I know I didnt eat much.)
But as for today, its going great. I've only eaten 85 calories, of lettuce and broccoli. And I burned 339 calories today at the gym and I'm going back later and I plan to burn AT LEAST 500 calories later at the gym.
I just had a about 1 1/2 cm wide slice of medium cheddar cheese (around 170 calories or less?)
I'm high and still hungry but I'm going to try really hard not to eat.
I think if I'm going to eat I'm going to have some cut up cucumber with a table spoon of dressing.
I'm also hanging out with my boyfriend and a friend later so I'll probably also be walking around then too. Hopefully today will be a huge success. My mom thinks I'm to upset to eat, which I kind of am.
But I'll wait till tonight to get into that.
But as for today, its going great. I've only eaten 85 calories, of lettuce and broccoli. And I burned 339 calories today at the gym and I'm going back later and I plan to burn AT LEAST 500 calories later at the gym.
I just had a about 1 1/2 cm wide slice of medium cheddar cheese (around 170 calories or less?)
I'm high and still hungry but I'm going to try really hard not to eat.
I think if I'm going to eat I'm going to have some cut up cucumber with a table spoon of dressing.
I'm also hanging out with my boyfriend and a friend later so I'll probably also be walking around then too. Hopefully today will be a huge success. My mom thinks I'm to upset to eat, which I kind of am.
But I'll wait till tonight to get into that.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Warning, not for those with a weak stomach (june 6th)
I absolutely cannot WAIT to move out. Last night mom made me eat my dinner, since I'd been refusing food all day. Steak and Greek salad, plus a couple chocolate cookies.
While I was hanging out with my friends yesterday, my one intoxicated best friend was trying to get me to eat, and got very upset when I kept refusing. So I put it in my mouth. BUT, I did not swallow a single crumb of the apples and celery and cookies she kept insisting I eat. Every time she'd look away I'd spit it behind something (thank god we were outside!) or I'd pretend to chew, then "cough" and throw it behind me.
Also, here's some good thinspo,
PICTURES OF MY FAT.
Not for the weak of stomach, literally.
....
....
(alright, I warned you!)
While I was hanging out with my friends yesterday, my one intoxicated best friend was trying to get me to eat, and got very upset when I kept refusing. So I put it in my mouth. BUT, I did not swallow a single crumb of the apples and celery and cookies she kept insisting I eat. Every time she'd look away I'd spit it behind something (thank god we were outside!) or I'd pretend to chew, then "cough" and throw it behind me.
Also, here's some good thinspo,
PICTURES OF MY FAT.
Not for the weak of stomach, literally.
....
....
(alright, I warned you!)
Saturday, June 5, 2010
SUCESS! (june 5th)
DAY ONE IS A HUGE SUCCESS.
Although I didnt get to go to the gym, I only had a small starbucks drink (180 calories) and walked most of the day.
Too blah to type right now.
More details later....
Ana' love to all! <3
Although I didnt get to go to the gym, I only had a small starbucks drink (180 calories) and walked most of the day.
Too blah to type right now.
More details later....
Ana' love to all! <3
June 5th
Well before I delve into the bad, I'd just like to lay out the game plan for today. Last night I figured out what I'm doing for my first fast (since starting this blog). Close to, but not exactly a juice fast. For the next two days, the only calories I'm allowed to consume are liquid. No more then 250 calories. I figured I could have 8 cups of green tea for the gym if I use 2 teaspoons of sugar in each. But 14 teaspoons of sugar, I dont think thats very good.. I probably wont have more then 4 cups of green tea in a day.
My one best friend (and band mate) is coming to the gym with me today to work out. She's talking to her mom about getting a membership as well so she can work out with me everyday. Considering she knows about my anorexia, and has recently started to fall in love with my dear Ana, this could be a beautiful love triangle.
...
...
...
Actually, I wont go into the bad until later...
My one best friend (and band mate) is coming to the gym with me today to work out. She's talking to her mom about getting a membership as well so she can work out with me everyday. Considering she knows about my anorexia, and has recently started to fall in love with my dear Ana, this could be a beautiful love triangle.
...
...
...
Actually, I wont go into the bad until later...
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