Well, despite the red monster i went to the gym today. Bust when i got home i ate 2 cups of cut up cucumber with 50 calories of dressing. Then the red monster made me crave pop corn. So i thought i could treat myself to a snack bag of calorie wise lime popcorn. Only 100 calories. Or so i thought... i looked at the box after and found out it was actually 190 calories. While waiting for the kettle to boil for my hot water bottle i ended up making 2 pieces of toast with margerin and miso.
I cant have eaten more then 234 calories more then ive burned today.
Hopefully the number on the scale will go down again tomorrow!
Ana love to all <3
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
june 8th
Well, yesterday was great. When i got home from the gym i only had. 1 cup of cucumber cut up into 1/2 cm 1/4th slices with 1 table spoon of dressing (40 calories) and mom made me eat a piece of ham lunch meat before i went back to the gym. But i dont think it would be more then 100 calories (which i already subtracted from my total calories burned yesterday)
Yesterday i burned...
*drumroll*
881 more calories then i ate!
Just before I was about to go to bed last night, i noticed i was bleeding. I'm still planning to go to the gym atleast once today and if I dont go then I'm keeping it an all liquids day.
But, even MORE good news!
As soon as i woke up this morning i got in the bath tub to soak my aching stomach, forgetting to get on the scale first. After i got out i got on the scale, and even with my wet hair i weighed ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY ONE POUNDS!
Yesterday i weighed 175.
Thank you Ana!
Yesterday i burned...
*drumroll*
881 more calories then i ate!
Just before I was about to go to bed last night, i noticed i was bleeding. I'm still planning to go to the gym atleast once today and if I dont go then I'm keeping it an all liquids day.
But, even MORE good news!
As soon as i woke up this morning i got in the bath tub to soak my aching stomach, forgetting to get on the scale first. After i got out i got on the scale, and even with my wet hair i weighed ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY ONE POUNDS!
Yesterday i weighed 175.
Thank you Ana!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Chloe Lattanzi (thinspo)
I don't know about anybody else, but I absolutely LOVE Chloe Lattanzi.
She's the daughter of Olivia Newton-John, I think shes like, 22? In interview with a magazine she said; "I've gone through an eating disorder. I don't hide that. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm taking very good care of myself now, but I'm not going to be line 'Oh, I eat pizza every day!' and I'm honest about that"
MY HERO.
Definitely my hero. She's so brave and confidant with her body, even though most people must think shes a horrible person for being so alright with her anorexia. I'm not sure if she is still anorexic but I got some recent photos off her myspace and she looks as thin and beautiful as ever.
I'm starting to make personal thinspo videos for my ipod when I'm working out. If I decide to put them on youtube I will most certainly put up the links.
My favorite Chloe thinspo pictures :D
She's the daughter of Olivia Newton-John, I think shes like, 22? In interview with a magazine she said; "I've gone through an eating disorder. I don't hide that. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm taking very good care of myself now, but I'm not going to be line 'Oh, I eat pizza every day!' and I'm honest about that"
MY HERO.
Definitely my hero. She's so brave and confidant with her body, even though most people must think shes a horrible person for being so alright with her anorexia. I'm not sure if she is still anorexic but I got some recent photos off her myspace and she looks as thin and beautiful as ever.
I'm starting to make personal thinspo videos for my ipod when I'm working out. If I decide to put them on youtube I will most certainly put up the links.
My favorite Chloe thinspo pictures :D
June 7th
I dont really remember what happened last night, or what I ate (but I know I didnt eat much.)
But as for today, its going great. I've only eaten 85 calories, of lettuce and broccoli. And I burned 339 calories today at the gym and I'm going back later and I plan to burn AT LEAST 500 calories later at the gym.
I just had a about 1 1/2 cm wide slice of medium cheddar cheese (around 170 calories or less?)
I'm high and still hungry but I'm going to try really hard not to eat.
I think if I'm going to eat I'm going to have some cut up cucumber with a table spoon of dressing.
I'm also hanging out with my boyfriend and a friend later so I'll probably also be walking around then too. Hopefully today will be a huge success. My mom thinks I'm to upset to eat, which I kind of am.
But I'll wait till tonight to get into that.
But as for today, its going great. I've only eaten 85 calories, of lettuce and broccoli. And I burned 339 calories today at the gym and I'm going back later and I plan to burn AT LEAST 500 calories later at the gym.
I just had a about 1 1/2 cm wide slice of medium cheddar cheese (around 170 calories or less?)
I'm high and still hungry but I'm going to try really hard not to eat.
I think if I'm going to eat I'm going to have some cut up cucumber with a table spoon of dressing.
I'm also hanging out with my boyfriend and a friend later so I'll probably also be walking around then too. Hopefully today will be a huge success. My mom thinks I'm to upset to eat, which I kind of am.
But I'll wait till tonight to get into that.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Warning, not for those with a weak stomach (june 6th)
I absolutely cannot WAIT to move out. Last night mom made me eat my dinner, since I'd been refusing food all day. Steak and Greek salad, plus a couple chocolate cookies.
While I was hanging out with my friends yesterday, my one intoxicated best friend was trying to get me to eat, and got very upset when I kept refusing. So I put it in my mouth. BUT, I did not swallow a single crumb of the apples and celery and cookies she kept insisting I eat. Every time she'd look away I'd spit it behind something (thank god we were outside!) or I'd pretend to chew, then "cough" and throw it behind me.
Also, here's some good thinspo,
PICTURES OF MY FAT.
Not for the weak of stomach, literally.
....
....
(alright, I warned you!)
While I was hanging out with my friends yesterday, my one intoxicated best friend was trying to get me to eat, and got very upset when I kept refusing. So I put it in my mouth. BUT, I did not swallow a single crumb of the apples and celery and cookies she kept insisting I eat. Every time she'd look away I'd spit it behind something (thank god we were outside!) or I'd pretend to chew, then "cough" and throw it behind me.
Also, here's some good thinspo,
PICTURES OF MY FAT.
Not for the weak of stomach, literally.
....
....
(alright, I warned you!)
Saturday, June 5, 2010
SUCESS! (june 5th)
DAY ONE IS A HUGE SUCCESS.
Although I didnt get to go to the gym, I only had a small starbucks drink (180 calories) and walked most of the day.
Too blah to type right now.
More details later....
Ana' love to all! <3
Although I didnt get to go to the gym, I only had a small starbucks drink (180 calories) and walked most of the day.
Too blah to type right now.
More details later....
Ana' love to all! <3
June 5th
Well before I delve into the bad, I'd just like to lay out the game plan for today. Last night I figured out what I'm doing for my first fast (since starting this blog). Close to, but not exactly a juice fast. For the next two days, the only calories I'm allowed to consume are liquid. No more then 250 calories. I figured I could have 8 cups of green tea for the gym if I use 2 teaspoons of sugar in each. But 14 teaspoons of sugar, I dont think thats very good.. I probably wont have more then 4 cups of green tea in a day.
My one best friend (and band mate) is coming to the gym with me today to work out. She's talking to her mom about getting a membership as well so she can work out with me everyday. Considering she knows about my anorexia, and has recently started to fall in love with my dear Ana, this could be a beautiful love triangle.
...
...
...
Actually, I wont go into the bad until later...
My one best friend (and band mate) is coming to the gym with me today to work out. She's talking to her mom about getting a membership as well so she can work out with me everyday. Considering she knows about my anorexia, and has recently started to fall in love with my dear Ana, this could be a beautiful love triangle.
...
...
...
Actually, I wont go into the bad until later...
Friday, June 4, 2010
FUCK FUCK FUCK. (june 4th)
DAMNIT! Mom made me eat lunch. Trying to stay under my 250 calorie limit today (even though I technically broke the juice fast) I dipped iceberg lettuce in 2 tablespoons of Kraft Calorie Wise balsamic vinegrette, only 50 calories. But then all the sudden I felt a binge coming on. I tried to fight it off, and failed. So I made a sandwich with some sort of meat and 3 slices of tomato with more of that dressing. I ran up to my room like the fat ass I am so I could devour it without mum giving me weird looks. My taste buds begged for a pear, but my bloated stomach objected.
There was no turning back now, I had to purge. So I ate the pear aswell. I dont like using laxitives, so there I was, faced again with white porcelain. In my anxiety to throw up ALL of the sandwich and pear, I also lost the lettuce. I'm proud.
I made a 30 calorie green tea drink (1 tea bag + 2 teaspoons of sugar + 5 drops of calorie free liquid stevia sweetener) and ate a pizza pocket. I think I'm going to go make another before I purge again.
...
...
Back with my second pizza pocket... While it was cooking i downed a few honey dates and some black berrys... If im going to purge I might as well enjoy myself.
...
...
Juice fast, failed. I dont think its a good idea to do anything unplanned. So today I'm having a resting/eating day.
*sigh*
Till tomorrow I guess?
There was no turning back now, I had to purge. So I ate the pear aswell. I dont like using laxitives, so there I was, faced again with white porcelain. In my anxiety to throw up ALL of the sandwich and pear, I also lost the lettuce. I'm proud.
I made a 30 calorie green tea drink (1 tea bag + 2 teaspoons of sugar + 5 drops of calorie free liquid stevia sweetener) and ate a pizza pocket. I think I'm going to go make another before I purge again.
...
...
Back with my second pizza pocket... While it was cooking i downed a few honey dates and some black berrys... If im going to purge I might as well enjoy myself.
...
...
Juice fast, failed. I dont think its a good idea to do anything unplanned. So today I'm having a resting/eating day.
*sigh*
Till tomorrow I guess?
June 4th (morning)
AUGH. I wish I was dead right now. My boyfriend woke me up at 8am, ruining my plans to sleep in, skipping breakfast. (did i forget to mention he lives with us?) He's being an idiot aswell.. To the point where I picked up my laptop and relocated. FROM -MY- BEDROOM. Into my dark, slightly smelly, spooky, spider infested basement. With nothing but my laptop, a yoga chair and a thin blanket. But anyways I was reading another blog, in which the author mentioned 1tbsp of cinnamon on an apple cut up for a whole day really boosts your metabolism. Well, I made one, and I took a piece out for breakfast. I didnt even get through the first tiny nibble before i was choaking on cinnamon. After swallowing the small bit of apple and spitting out the cinnamon left in my mouth I went back to my fridge and chucked the baggie in the garbage. And I must say, throwing out that food felt GOOD.
I think the cinnamon is wreaking havoc on my stomach, seeing as I already spent a good half an hour in the bathroom after about 10 minutes of swallowing that small piece. And I didnt even take the laxitives I planned on taking last night.
While reading that blog, I also found out that working out at a slower pace for a long time burns more calories, and is much easier on an empty stomach. While blitzing through work outs leaves you prone to binges and weak/dizzy spells. I think I've got a new workout plan now..
I've heard a lot about the juice fast, except exactly how many calories your allowed to consume per day during. Probably less then 200, but I cant be sure. I might even start this fast today. A 3 day juice fast.
...
...
I'M GONNA DO IT.
Not a crumb of food is allowed to pass these lips, for three days. Sadly I dont have a scale and home so I wont really be able to track my progress very well.. But I'm keeping on mum about buying one.
I want to be as thin as Chloe Lattanzi. I know I dont deserve to be that thin yet. But I'll prove to Ana that I'm working hard to deserve it.
I think the cinnamon is wreaking havoc on my stomach, seeing as I already spent a good half an hour in the bathroom after about 10 minutes of swallowing that small piece. And I didnt even take the laxitives I planned on taking last night.
While reading that blog, I also found out that working out at a slower pace for a long time burns more calories, and is much easier on an empty stomach. While blitzing through work outs leaves you prone to binges and weak/dizzy spells. I think I've got a new workout plan now..
I've heard a lot about the juice fast, except exactly how many calories your allowed to consume per day during. Probably less then 200, but I cant be sure. I might even start this fast today. A 3 day juice fast.
...
...
I'M GONNA DO IT.
Not a crumb of food is allowed to pass these lips, for three days. Sadly I dont have a scale and home so I wont really be able to track my progress very well.. But I'm keeping on mum about buying one.
I want to be as thin as Chloe Lattanzi. I know I dont deserve to be that thin yet. But I'll prove to Ana that I'm working hard to deserve it.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Introduction;,.
Hello ladies and gents. I prefer to stay anonymous on pro ana sites, but I usually go by Annie Anorexia. I'm a 15 year old girl, living somewhere in an igloo in canada ;D I struggled with anorexia and bulimia from before I was 10, until I decided to stop fighting it at age 13. Since then, I have been anorexic with bulimic tendencies. After a short stay in the psyche ward for an almost successful attempt at suicide, plus 6 months of weight gaining + bloating pills, and a long period of serious munchies every time I smoked weed, I ballooned up to 182. Well thats what I weighed the last time I had access to a scale, on March 16th.
I have recently become more dedicated to Ana, my love.
And I will do anything, to be thin.
I have recently become more dedicated to Ana, my love.
And I will do anything, to be thin.
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